Monday, January 16, 2006

The Nuclear Gang

What exactly can the UN do to Iran, the worlds 4th largest oil producer?

Sanctions, as we know, don't work. If we enforce sanctions we turn the Iranian people against us, they suffer, and the Iranian goverment says "Screw you guys, we're taking our oil and going home". So the price of oil goes up again, Bush's Saudi cronies make even more money, a percentage of which they give to fundamentalist madrassas who indoctrinate young muslims into hating the west.

An invasion? If you thought Iraq was a clusterfuck then Iran would be your worst nightmare. A large majority of the people support the government. Those who don't are even more hardline. The type of Iranian who would support UN military action got the fuck out of Persia a long time ago.

Surgical strikes on nuclear facilities? Well, we all know how accurate these surgical strikes are. At the merest whiff of a threat of surgical strikes you will have a few thousand hardline women and children sitting on top of those nuclear facilities burning American flags and singing the Iranian equivalent of "We shall overcome". Then the government will say "Screw you guys, we're taking our oil and going home".

The Iranian government says they want nuclear power. The Iranian people can see no reason why they shouldn't be allowed to have nuclear power. "Hell, the French are allowed to have nuclear power and the whole world knows that they are cheese eating surrender monkeys, so why can't we have nuclear power?".

Now, rightly or wrongly, the rest of the world thinks that Iran wants to make nuclear weapons. What is Iran going to use it's nuclear weapons for? A deterrent? The UK has nuclear weapons and we say it is a deterrent. Why shouldn't the Iranians have a deterrent? It's not like the UK has a neighbour who has recently been invaded by a bellicose nation on the back of lies and poor intelligence who have been fomenting war in the region for decades.

Is the Iranian government stupid enough to actually use nuclear weapons? What do they, and the rest of the world, think will happen if they were to use nuclear weapons? They would be bombed so far back into the past that the stone age would look like the distant future.

Tony Blair and his government keep telling us that we have to have nuclear power, it's clean, it's safe, it's the way forward. But those dodgy Iranians can keep burning their dirty oil.

So I ask again, what exactly does the UN think it can do?

Frankly if I was the Iranian president I'd be doing the "screw you" speech right now, before the UN do anything. Let's see how the UN feel about letting Iran have nuclear power when Iran says "if we can't have nuclear power we'll have to double the price of our oil so that we can afford to clean up after our oil fired power stations".

Here's an idea for the UN:

Instead of sabre rattling and sanctions, how about calling Iran's bluff? Iran is a bloody great desert. The sun beats down on it the whole time. We have the technology to capture that solar energy and turn it into electricity. George Bush thinks technological change is the way out of global warming. So why don't we offer to build the Iranians the mother of all solar plants? It'll be clean and efficient. The Iranians will get their hands on some technology that won't cause their fingernails to fall off and their palms to grow hairs. If Iran is serious about only wanting the nuclear facilities to create electricity they can't complain. They'll get the whole lot for free and we won't have to send our troops halfway round the world to protect the oil that we'll be paying twice as much for as we did last year.


Anonymous Caatje said...

Very good posts, exactly my thoughts. Although I don't care the French have em, I'm far more worried that Bush has nukes at his disposal! And we all know how he likes to play Stratego with real life people...

9:44 PM  
Blogger L'actrice aspirante said...

Commenter above, Bush hasn't even discussed (his own) nukes. Sure, he's trigger happy, but not with our nuclear warheads. Even he knows better than that, no matter what you (commenter above) think.

Blogger, Nice post. And I adore your idea for the UN. Everyone could think more proactively than they do, especially the US gov't (Bush included...I'm not a blind follower of either side ,I guess).

5:22 AM  

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